Today started week two of three of my yoga teacher training. As I was preparing/meditating for the morning class, one thought came into my mind. That I don’t have to think about my self-confidence in my mind, because it has been and always is in my heart.
Yesterday was our day off. I met a girl which I sat next to the airplane and which goes to another yoga school for breakfast and had a really nice talk. Afterward, I walked to the Tibetan area “Mcleon Ganj” to sit in a cafe and read and write. I read about the joy in life (see the previous post) and also confronted myself with my discontents. The biggest one for me is my inner insecurity. When I am by myself, I have no problem to be me and be open for the unknown but as soon I am around people I start thinking to much about how I behave and what others think of me. As I went back in the evening, a few students from my school went to a cafe to hang out. I thought first to have a quiet night but then reminded myself to be not always on my own and go out, be with others and have fun.
And I had a lot of fun with them. We talked, danced and relaxed. I really felt comfortable and this morning, I felt the pure joy of living and sharing it with others.
In my meditations this morning, I reflected the night before and realized that I haven’t spent one thought about how I was seen because I was just me. It helped that we have great harmony in our group and that I am in space where everyone is accepted as they are. I looked deeper and came to the conclusion, that the confidence I am looking for is nothing to be thought of in my mind, I have it already all of my life inside of me, in my heart. Since I am following my heart living my passions and standing for what I deeply believe in, the confidence I was looking for is at the same place. It is in line with what I do and say. How I live my life and the turns I am taking. As long I am going my path, the confidence will always be there and guide me.
In the Morning Yoga class, I reminded myself to look into my heart and felt much more connected to myself and more confident in challenging asanas (postures). I tell myself to go day by day and concentrate at the moment and realize the positive change in my body. I completed this morning two new postures, my forward backbends are getting deeper and my spine straightens up. I start devoting myself more and more to the practice and feel the change. I am still a bit curious about what else I will achieve or what others insights I will get but I think that’s okay 😉
Bliss and Hugs